When giving feedback, replace 'but' with 'and'

  • The general rule is that "but" invalidates everything that was said before it. Leaving it out or replacing it is therefore necessary when the first portion of the sentence should keep its impact.
  • Book - How to win friends and influence peopleBook - How to win friends and influence people

    Metadata:

    author: Dale Carnegie
    title: How to win friends and influence people




    uses this technique when giving feedback. As it is always easier to start negative feedback by highlighting something positive, it is critical that "but" is replaced by "and" (otherwise the positive feedback would lose its meaning).
  • A nice side effect of using "and" is that you need to formulate the second part of the sentence in a positive way
    • "A was good, but B was bad"
    • "A was good and B can also be that good"